WHY YOUR LAST LOVE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR FIRST LOVE

Hello guys, we can all agree that it's not everyone that ends up with their first love. In fact, 95% of humans don't. Growing up, our parents fantasized so much about our first times: the first time we talked, walked, grew a tooth, sat down, etc.

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We get to a certain age where we know about the opposite sex, and then we start looking forward to our first date, first kiss, and the rest of them. Then finally, someone comes and sweeps us off our feet, and we start thinking we'll end up with them, then we start matching our names/surnames. I remember how much I love western life(blame my mum), that I actually wanted to marry a guy that his last name is English, and well, the universe has its own way of granting me my wants, so, whoops he came! He was everything I said my husband will be(I wrote them all down in a book in high school), and I've never wanted to date anyone just for the fun of it; I usually ask myself if I can marry them, and if I can't, then I can't date them.




I met the guy when I was done with high school, and about to get admitted into the university. He was cute, tall, and dark. I had gone to submit my credentials, and he was there in the queue with his friend, waiting for his turn. He kept stealing glances at me, and finally asked for my number when I was done, and ready to leave. We became couples per se, and everyone loved how close we were. I knew his family, and he knew mine. I could go to his family house and sleep for some days if there was an event, and he could come to mine too. Our parents accepted us like we were already married! But then, during his last days in school, he switched and said he was graduating and would be needing to focus, that I'm his weakness, and that I distract him a lot. I said ok, but it was hard for me. It was hard for me because I was already so close to him, and kind of built my world around him; I mean someone I had sacrificed a lot for, and I didn't even think we were ever gonna be separable, but it happened! He stopped communicating, and I wasn't raised to go after a guy who doesn't want me, so I kept to myself, and faced my school. I began to realize that I could live without this guy, after all(maybe I was built not to be broken by anything).


I began to forget him, but his memories were still there. Some months later, he started calling me again once in a while, and even offered to see me before I left school. He stopped calling my mum too who also did a lot for him(I’m mentioning this so you can understand how close I was with him. He was like family), and later, I came to terms with the fact that he didn't really owe me a thing; I did those things out of love, and I shouldn't regret it or expect a payback. So, I healed and let go! Three years later, he came back, and started professing his love again, telling me he was sorry and couldn't live without me. Gave me reasons why he left. At this time, he was set to get married, and wanted to marry me. Well, too sad I already moved on. He was my first love, and he was ready to do anything to get me back but I already learned how to live without him. 


You see, sometimes we get wrapped up in love so great that we feel once that person leaves, our whole world will crumble! Hell no! Some even go ahead and commit suicide, really? You kill yourself, and then let them live with their new love? Honey, your last love is more important than your first love! It annoys me when I see girls that can't let go of their ex(s). I even remember a girl who hasn't moved on. She's still hashtagging her name and her ex’s surname. How do you do all those wedding hashtags for a guy that hasn't married you, a guy that ain't even interested in you? And you want to find a new man! No, you can't find a new man, you can't find happiness until you let go of that person/relationship that didn't work out! Sometimes, we fall out of love; all you need to do is move on if the other person ain't willing to work it out! 


Love yourself so much not to settle for less. You may have multiple dates after your breakup, and you find out you don't love them. That's ok! But be sure it's not because you holding on to an ex that doesn't even think of you. Your first love is called that just because they are part of a series of "firsts". It's no big deal! There's always a first time of something in our lives. You should be more concerned about who your last love is. That person you can finally love without having to love someone else. If your first still ends up being your last, awesome! Go with the flow, but there's nothing like "you my first love, and I can't forget you". Your last love is someone you should cherish. People always complain about how others got away from them, so they say to their new dates "please don't leave me, they all left"... That's bullsh*t! If they left, then they not the one for you. 


Please allow your ex(s) be! especially if they are in a new relationship! Stop distracting them. If they wanted you, they'd have made efforts to resolve the issues, and get back. Stop holding on to an ex until it gets to the point where you're old, and having chased everyone away from you, because you couldn't move on, then you start complaining of how wicked they are by leaving you. It was not till my last love(I believe) came along that I realized what it truly means to love someone, be better for them, and also be yourself while you're at it. Forget about firsts. Learn from them, but don't let them engulf your future decisions! Pray to marry your last love, so we can curb the rate of divorce! Because you may even get back with your first, get married, have kids, but along the line, you realize that there's no more love between the two of you. What do you do? You start looking for happiness somewhere else. 
Image credit: cbc


PLEASE REMEMBER: If your first love ends up being your last love, it's great, but don't force relationships.. xoxo

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Comments

  1. I agree with you Moxie.
    One thing I find extremely scary about relationships is the fact that you loving them and making the efforts...doesn't mean they'll reciprocate it. So one just has to learn how to let go when they fall out...first love or not.

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  2. Of course, what you said is nothing but the truth. No need to be crying 😭 in front of a closed door . Thanks for your update 👍.

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    1. You welcome, Daniel, and thank you for reading

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  3. Hey moxie, am a fan

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